“At the time my marriage was in trouble and after 3 years of loving and patient input from members of the church, I eventually asked my husband for a divorce. I felt a complete failure and left both the church and my home-group but my group leaders took the time to pursue me. They told me that God loves me so much more than he hates divorce and that I needed to be at church and in His presence.

I returned to church and went through the motions of ‘being a Christian’. I seldom opened my bible other than home-group or during the Sunday service but prayed diligently to God to let me know what he wanted from me – silence! Since my divorce, things at first seemed a little rosier and then my crazy life-style started taking over. Work got really bad and I started working longer hours just to survive. My time with my children became less and more stressed! I still went to church as it seemed like my only ‘life-line’, but my children resisted it and it seemed like I was slotting it into my schedule as one more thing that just needed to be done! My whole existence was in a state of crisis management and it was horrible. I was eventually admitted to hospital because I was ‘suicidal’ – after a week of forced rest and therapy – my psychiatrist said that I had ended up there because of sheer exhaustion! I am not one who normally asks for help, because everyone sees me as ‘the strong one’!

I started ‘forcing’ myself to make time for God on a daily basis, I knew I was meant to but it did not come naturally for me. So whether it was praying, reading the bible or just giving thanks, I really tried to make time every day for Him. It was not any huge slot in my day, but it was regular. Then it all started…..

It started in November 2008 when the ‘Tornado’ hit Hillcrest and surrounds – my property had been hit quite badly and our ancient trees that were several storeys high took out fences and gates, and the roads were impassable. The family across the road from us lost their whole house! Neighbors that I had never met were there in the pouring rain helping me to try and clear tons of trees.

Then about 3 weeks later, my children and I were hijacked at gunpoint in our driveway and we lost everything but got away with our lives. Between my sudden hospital visit a few months before and now the hijacking, with no car and having to take time off for police, trying to find a car, applying for new ID and Drivers’ license, trauma counseling etc – the list goes on and on, I started feeling concerned about the security of my job!

Then in March 2009, my close friend and colleague phoned me late one evening saying she had been attacked and shot in the stomach and she was at home (a few houses away from me!) I was the first person that she knew well that got there and I was just so grateful that she had called me!

I had been growing more and more in faith and I had got through all these things, almost miraculously. At this point in time, as I grew bold and shared my faith, I started meeting resistance in the form of “where is your God in all this?” People could not understand how these things could leave me still believing in God.

Where was my God…… ? Let me tell you what I have realized:

-          When the Tornado hit – my neighbour told me that he watched the trees plummeting towards my house and almost miraculously, they changed direction and took out only the fence, gates and garden.

-          When we were hijacked – 4 men with guns, in the dark – they could have easily done anything they wanted with my children and I, but they only took the car and its contents – we were unharmed.

-          When my friend was attacked and shot, she phoned me. If I had not been hijacked just three months before, she could be dead right now – I knew exactly what to do and who to call as if I had rehearsed for it! A woman who lives near me and whom I met because of my hijacking was available in minutes, to look after my sleeping children, so that I could get to my friend. My friend’s whole survival was miraculous to the point that when she died on the operating able, she had a Christian surgeon who prayed for her and she survived.

And they asked where my God was in all this!

Not even two months later, in early May, a profound question came to me that has changed my life – “When you are asked a question, what do you answer?” I suddenly realized that I was growing in faith but had nothing to back it up with when faced with a challenge or question. I have no idea where it came from or what triggered it in my mind, but I suddenly had this unbelievable conviction to start reading and studying my Bible – this was not something that had ever been of any interest or of great importance to me in the past!

A week later, I was made redundant at work and as a divorced mother of two, I should have been beside myself! But I was completely at peace with it all. I have always been a control freak who plans everything – that is how I always found my security. There I was, the rug pulled right out from under me and instead of dread, I enjoyed the most incredible peace and freedom that I have ever experienced in my life.

I had always had every excuse why I did not have more time for my religion, for my children and for myself and here I was with no more excuses – my job had been taken away from me, giving me every chance to drench myself in the Word! I have taken every possible opportunity to read about God, talk and share about him, pray and give thanks to Him. It has been the most unbelievable experience of my life. For the first time I am hearing God through the Word that I now take the time to read. I am completely overwhelmed at how quickly he responds if we are just willing to acknowledge him in everything and just listen!

I am completely in love with my Father who has remained faithful even when I have strayed so far from him, with my King who knows me by name and makes the time to deal with my needs individually and with grace. I have learnt that being obedient to God and prioritizing his Word is the most valuable thing in the whole world – I just wish I could help people realize that it has to be now, there is no time to wait, not for that promotion, not for that holiday, not for that time off, not for when the kids leave school, not for anything. God is waiting to bless us richly, but it is us who need to knock on that door!

And the last thing I need to share for those struggling marriages – it is not up to your spouse to lead you in faith – that is a weak excuse (trust me, I’ve been there), you and you alone are accountable to God for your walk! Trust in Him and it will all fall into place over time, just be faithful!

Cheyne Steiner……joined Hillside about six years ago: